The Pirates of Blood River

A pirate (Christopher Lee) forces an escaped prisoner (Kerwin Mathews) to reveal the location of a remote settlement where he hopes to find treasure.

Despite the opening shot of a pirate ship at sea, Pirates of Blood River takes place almost entirely on land. Where that land is supposed to be is left up to the viewer to decide, though one may have a hard time coming up with a place replete with English forests, colonial forts, and piranhas.

That said, after a good beginning featuring said piranhas, the film drags. Christopher Lee does what he can, and his pirate co-stars are entertaining, especially Oliver Reed as a drunken lecherous sailor, but soon it becomes clear that they’re never getting a back on the ship and as the film devolves into a would-be western.

The problem is that the film lacks the thrills usually present in a Hammer Production. The violence is tame, and the script stalls through most of the second act. Things pick up a bit at the finale, including a laugh-out-loud death scene by Christopher Lee, but not enough to make this one worth your time. A little more edge would have gone a long way.