Vegas Vampires

In Las Vegas, vampires cause trouble for a cop (Tommy ‘Tiny’ Lister), two private detectives (Richard Roundtree and Fred Williamson), and a group of tourists.

The only explanation for the awfulness of Vegas Vampires is that, upon viewing his initial cut, director Fred Williamson realized that the combination of vampires, Vegas, Shaft and Black Caesar was so potent that, were anyone but himself or co-star Richard Roundtree to see it, their heads would explode.

Thus, to save humanity, Williamson made some changes.

First, he dialed back his and Richard Roundtree’s parts, reducing their screen time to a mere handful of minutes, knowing that the combination of himself Roundtree equated to a level of badass the world simply isn’t prepared to withstand.

Next, he scrapped the original, professional-grade, special effects, and opted instead for the “Adobe Premier” look, knowing that his original, hyper-realistic vision would shatter the mind of any that dared look upon it.

And finally, he randomly cut huge swaths of the script, knowing that anyone exposed to the dramatic force of the original, coherent, story would be reduced to a drooling vegetable.

Thus, Vegas Vampires had to be bad, lest the world as we know it cease to exist. So thank you, Fred Williamson, for sacrificing your professional reputation to save mankind. We are eternally in your debt.